make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
