i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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