its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
