Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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