overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
