tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
