my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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