I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
