In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was like eating out sand paper
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
