the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
