If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
