hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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