So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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