Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
