Soap is not a condiment
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
