whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
