My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
