I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
