My nipple is on Facebook.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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