I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
