$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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