well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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