like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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