ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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