We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
