We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
