I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
