For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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