Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
