well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
