It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
