Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
