the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
