So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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