We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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