Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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