I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
