If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
