Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
