You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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