You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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