im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
