My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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