Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
