My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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