you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
