The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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