Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
