my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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