Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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