he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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