Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
